We watched Cinderella yesterday. Two different versions in fact. “If you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.” The classic fairy tale mindset. If you just keep believing in yourself and trying, success will come. You’ll get the guy, you’ll have the picket fence, you’ll be the rock star, you’ll start the successful business, whatever the dream is can be achieved by that wish on a star and belief in yourself. Right? Right? Well, maybe for Cinderella and the gang. Maybe for you, too. If so, I’m proud of you! I feel like the more likely scenario is that your life isn’t a fairy tale.
All of those goals and dreams we had but never accomplished, no matter how small, can sit inside our brain taking up space and telling us we aren’t good enough because we didn’t succeed at one thing or another. Last week I dreamed I’d wake up at 6:30, get the laundry done, start preschool with my son, keep the kids alive and maybe even thriving, clean my house, go to the eye doctor, and eat salad for lunch every day. Did all of that happen? Not a chance.
Could I have accomplished everything I wished to? Maybe. The real world additive to this fairy tale thought process is that there are extenuating circumstances and a measure of worth attached to the tasks we set out to do. When my daughter was awake from 3-5:30am, the worth of getting up at 6:30am went down and the worth of that hour of sleep went way up. What if Cinderella had wished really hard to go to the ball, but her fairy godmother never came? Or maybe her fairy godmother came but gave her the choice between going to the ball or seeing her father again? Circumstances can and should change our goals.
I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to continuously add goals upon goals and then beat myself up when I only achieve two instead of all seven. I discussed this trait with my therapist the other day and about how prioritizing is such a massive factor in setting and achieving goals. I don’t live in a fairy tale. I can’t get all of the chores done, still make it to the ball, AND be a happy person who makes clothes for mice. Sometimes I even have to get no chores done, stay home from the ball, and just do my best to be a happy person. I’m learning to let that be okay and forgive myself for not checking off all of the boxes on my to do list.
This blog is a priority to me because I do want it to succeed. I want to cultivate a resource for moms in many different stages of motherhood. I hope you’ll come with me on this chaotic journey of motherhood. So many moms don’t have that village people always talked about, so let’s make one. I would love to hear what you might look for in a space like this. A place to commiserate? Activity ideas? Parenting ideas? You hate blogs and everything about them?
Help me build the foundation of Be Real Mama! I would love for this to be a collaborative space. I hope to be able to have guest writers who want to share their stories and ideas. My journey in motherhood won’t look exactly like anyone else’s, and neither will yours. That’s part of the beauty in raising these little people. We are all so different, yet we have these amazing little beings who bring us together. If you might be interested in collaborating as a guest writer or sharing details for me to include in a post, contact me here!
Be Real, Mama 